


you clutched my brain and eased my ailing

by GallifreyanFairytale



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s03e02 The Headband, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Nightmares, Zuko Joins The Gaang Early (Avatar), this was supposed to be funny and lighthearted but then it just got sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:40:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26221285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GallifreyanFairytale/pseuds/GallifreyanFairytale
Summary: “Good evening, er…”“Mr. and Mr. Fire,” Sokka finishes, shaking the headmaster’s hand. He takes the seat to Aang’s left, leaving Zuko to sit on the right. “Please, call me Wang.”ORin which Zuko and Sokka are the ones to pretend to be Aang's parents.
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 39
Kudos: 978
Collections: A:tla





	you clutched my brain and eased my ailing

**Author's Note:**

> this has probably been done before, but i just recently started watching atla, so i honestly have no idea. anyway zukka has been living in my mind rent free since like episode one, so obviously i had to imagine the scene where sokka and katara pretend to be aang's parents with zukka instead. (of course, it was originally just a funny idea, but then i read into it too deeply and made it angsty)
> 
> also i'm pretty sure gay marriage is canonically illegal in atla but we're electing to ignore that.
> 
> title from 'is there somewhere' by halsey

“Oh _absolutely not_!” Katara exclaims, her voice shrill. “You’re _not_ getting me to pretend to be married to my _brother_.” She turns her back on Sokka and Aang and crosses her arms. “You’ll have to be a single parent.”

“One _tiny_ problem,” it’s clear Aang doesn’t really want to argue with Katara, but his tone says the ‘single parent’ thing isn’t going to work for some reason, “I _might_ have assured him I would bring _both_ of my parents.”

“...My answer stays the same.” Despite her hesitation, Zuko knows there will be no arguing with Katara.

Sokka and Aang look at Toph half-heartedly, but since she can’t _see_ their gaze landing on her, it takes several moments of silence before she responds. “You think _I_ could play Aang’s mom?” She laughs and a smirk Zuko does _not_ like the look of spreads across her face. “Unfortunately, as _some people_ keep reminding me, I look like a ten-year-old." Toph shrugs. "Sorry.”

Sokka winces at that and Zuko feels himself grimace as well. That joke had really come back to bite them in the butt.

With Katara and Toph refusing to play Aang’s mother, that doesn’t exactly leave many options. Well, really, it leaves two options. Send Sokka alone to say his wife had died in some tragic accident while Aang was at school that day, or…

Or Zuko could volunteer to play Aang’s other parent. And given the argument that sparks between Katara and Sokka in the time it takes Zuko to realize he could step up, he needs to suggest one of the two options soon.

“Stop.” Katara and Sokka both shut up and look at him. “I’ll do it.” Sokka would be no good at pretending his wife had died earlier that day anyways. Then, to clarify (because Katara is wide-eyed and looking mildly uncomfortable) he adds, “I’ll go with Sokka and Aang to be Aang’s other parent.”

Now Sokka is the wide-eyed one, but he wipes the expression off of his face too quickly for Zuko to be able to properly study it. Not that he studies Sokka’s expressions. He just wants to be sure Sokka’s expression didn’t hold the same discomfort that Katara’s had

“I mean, I do know the Fire Nation rules better than most of you since I grew up here.” Because that excuse somehow makes Zuko pretending to be married to Sokka and have a kid with him less gay.

“Great!” Aang says, interrupting the confusing slew of emotions bubbling up inside Zuko. _What has he agreed to?_ “Now we need disguises for you two!” Aang grabs Sokka’s arm in one hand and Zuko’s in the other and drags them out of the cave, presumably to find some disguises that will make them appear older.

Zuko decides to ignore Katara and Toph’s giggling.

\--

The headmaster looks from Sokka to Zuko and then back again. Katara managed to mix up some concoction that acted as makeup to cover Zuko’s scar for the most part, but he’s still on edge. At this point, everyone in the Fire Nation knows to keep an eye out for the banished prince with a fiery scar eating up the left side of his face.

“Good evening, er…”

“Mr. and Mr. Fire,” Sokka finishes, shaking the headmaster’s hand. He takes the seat to Aang’s left, leaving Zuko to sit on the right. “Please, call me Wang.”

It takes everything in Zuko not to slam his palm to his forehead. He forces himself to smile at the headmaster and tell him, “I’m Lee Fire. It’s nice to meet you.” He sits down in the chair that still remains open. “I understand that-- that our son has been causing some trouble at school?” _Why did the phrase “our son” make Zuko’s stomach flip upside down?_

“That would be correct.” The headmaster is still eyeing Sokka and Zuko warily, but Zuko is planning to just let it go. It’s not like his father (or any of the Fire Lords since Sozin) had been exceptionally kind towards same-sex couples. That had raised a load of issues for Zuko in his childhood, but now, he’s just tired and he wants to wash the makeup off of his face and stop pretending to be in a relationship with Sokka.

Sokka, however, isn’t so willing to ignore the headmaster’s looks. “I’m sorry, is there something you’d like to say to my husband and I?”

Zuko’s pretty sure every single organ in his body shuts down upon hearing Sokka call him _“my husband”_ and suddenly, he’s thankful for the makeup since it should hide some of the red that is surely spreading across his cheeks.

“No--”

“Good.” Sokka crosses his arms and sits back. He looks over at Zuko and Zuko sees whatever snarky comment the other boy has in mind die as soon as he makes eye contact with him. Sokka clears his throat and turns back to the headmaster.

“Well, Mr. and Mr. Fire, your son has been enrolled here for two days and he’s already causing problems.” The headmaster goes on to list Aang’s offenses and Zuko has to restrain himself from rolling his eyes. The Fire Nation schools all have such strict rules, and it does far more harm than good.

“Kuzon is so well behaved at home, though,” Zuko muses before Sokka can speak. He’s a little afraid Sokka will forget the fake name Aang gave himself. Sokka simply nods in agreement, electing not to speak for now.

“While I don’t doubt that,” the headmaster begins, clearly doubting what Zuko said, “I must forewarn you. If he acts up one more time, I’ll have him sent to _reform school_!” The headmaster bangs his fists on his desk for emphasis. “By which I mean the _coal mines_.”

The headmaster’s threat is just about the furthest thing from scary Zuko can think of, but Aang still looks a little nervous. Zuko places a hand on Aang’s shoulder, remembering how his mother used to comfort him. If he’s going to pretend to be a parent, he can at least model his character after his mother rather than his father.

“Are we clear?”

Zuko nods, and looks at Sokka, but Sokka is focused on the headmaster, analyzing him. Trying to figure out what kind of response he wants Sokka and Zuko to give.

Zuko knows what response the headmaster wants, but he won’t give it. The headmaster _wants_ scolding and threats that will force Aang (or Kuzon) to shape up and stop acting out solely because he’s afraid of what will happen if he disobeys. Zuko won’t do that to Aang, though, even if they’re just playing pretend.

Sokka’s next move is careful, calculated, and a little risky for Zuko’s liking, but he appreciates it nonetheless. He looks deep into Zuko’s eyes, like he’s trying to make it into Zuko’s brain, and then he flicks his eyes towards the portrait behind the headmaster. The portrait of Fire Lord Ozai.

Zuko gives the slightest nod he can, letting Sokka know he understands. Sokka is going to yell at Aang because he knows Zuko doesn’t want to, and because it’s what the headmaster needs in order for them to leave without suspicion. Zuko knows he’s right. He just hopes the headmaster doesn’t pick up on Sokka’s moment of hesitation.

Sokka stands up and starts shouting at Aang. Zuko doesn’t listen to the words; he hasn’t been able to pick apart individual sounds in that tone and volume for years. Aang leans away from Sokka and towards Zuko, and Zuko pretends that his grip tightening on Aang’s arm is to make sure Aang knows it’s okay, or to make it look like he’s forcing his son to listen to the rebuking. But really it’s just Zuko’s anchor to reality, so he doesn’t slip away into memories of his father yelling at him.

Zuko doesn’t know how long Sokka shouts. It might be a few minutes or it might be only a few seconds, but it feels like it’s never going to stop. 

The worst part of it all is that it just _had_ to be Sokka yelling. Any other member of the group, he could’ve handled. Toph yells whenever she wants anyways, but generally only to be sure she’s heard. Zuko gets the feeling she’s spent a lot of time being ignored. Katara scolds, but rarely yells. When she does, it’s usually at Sokka, and it isn’t heartless. Katara may be telling Sokka off, but she still cares for him deeply. And Aang? Zuko is pretty sure that kid doesn’t ever like to raise his voice, save to be heard over wind or rain or some other noisemaker. If he were to yell at someone out of anger, it would be well deserved.

And sure, Sokka has yelled before, but not like this. Sokka was always _safe_. Sokka was the one who noticed Zuko flinching when he approached from the left and started only approaching him from the right or front. Sokka was the one who spent the weeks at sea almost exclusively on Zuko’s left side. Sokka was the one who made sure Zuko heard what was said when his hearing failed him due to only having one working ear. Sokka was the one who had hesitantly reached out to touch his scar and whispered obscenities about Zuko’s father that he never would’ve imagined Sokka knew. Sokka was the one who told his own father to, _“Just stop yelling for once!”_ when he noticed how uncomfortable it made Zuko when Hakoda raised his voice.

But now Sokka is yelling like he’s yelling at his own son, and even if it’s just pretend, it makes Zuko’s chest seize. And not in the good way like he usually felt around Sokka.

_Wait, what?_

The shock of what he’s just thought interrupts Zuko’s downward spiral and he’s rooted firmly back in his chair in the headmaster’s office.

“That’s what I like to hear,” the headmaster approves. 

Sokka gives the headmaster a sharp nod, grabs Aang’s arm, and yanks him out of the chair, pushing him towards the door. He grabs Zuko’s arm too, but his touch is gentle this time. He stays to Zuko’s left, one hand resting against Zuko’s back and the other holding Zuko’s arm. Aang scurries along in front of them, oblivious.

“I’m sorry,” Sokka whispers as soon as they’re outside.

Zuko shakes his head. “He wasn’t going to let us go without proof Aang would be properly punished.”

“I’m still sorry.” Sokka distances himself from Zuko slightly - enough that his hands fall away and drop to his sides - but he stays close enough that Zuko is able to relax slightly as they walk away from the school.

“It’s okay,” Zuko says, even though it isn’t. He doesn’t blame Sokka, though. He blames his father, and that isn’t something Sokka can fix.

\---

Zuko wakes with a start, shooting upright and nearly crashing into Sokka. He’s breathing heavily and Sokka’s hands are reaching out and wrapping themselves around Zuko’s arms. Flashes of the nightmare he was woken from (Sokka must have noticed and woken him up) flicker behind Zuko’s eyelids, so he fights to keep his eyes open.

“You’re okay,” Sokka says, and Zuko shakes his head without really hearing him or realizing that shaking his head means _No I’m not._

“I’m here.” Sokka moves closer to Zuko, and Zuko can feel him more than see him in the dark of the cave. He pulls Zuko into a hug slowly, giving plenty of time for Zuko to pull away if he doesn’t want the contact right now. But Zuko leans into it, grateful for the warmth of Sokka’s body pressed against his. The cave isn’t cold (and even if it were, Zuko wouldn’t need to worry about it) but it’s nice to feel that Sokka is warm and comforting and nothing like--

Zuko squeezes Sokka tighter. He doesn’t want to think about it.

“I’m here,” Sokka repeats, even softer this time. 

Zuko isn’t sure how long they stay in this position, with Zuko clinging to Sokka like his life depends on it and trying to think about anything other than his nightmare. 

Eventually, Zuko realizes that Sokka must be getting uncomfortable staying still for so long, so he releases him. He wishes he could see Sokka’s face more clearly, but they can’t risk waking the others up with firelight, so Zuko does his best to make out Sokka’s features in the dark. He knows they should be creating a face of concern, given Sokka’s words and actions, but flashes from his nightmare are making it hard to discern Sokka’s actual expression from the monsters in Zuko’s mind.

“Do you want to talk about it?” The question is so quiet that Zuko almost misses it. His first instinct is to say no, push Sokka away, curl up in a ball, and hope he can get some more sleep before morning. But if there’s one thing Sokka has proven time and time again in these past weeks, it’s that Zuko can trust him.

So Zuko takes a shaky breath in. He thinks about his dream, how Sokka was yelling at him in the cold, heartless, voice of his father. _“You’re a lost cause. You really think you’re worthy of love? After everything you’ve done?”_

“You were yelling,” Zuko whispers. He adds on, “like my father,” quiet enough that he hopes Sokka can’t hear him.

He isn’t so lucky.

“I’m sorry--”

“Stop,” Zuko insists. “It’s not your fault; it’s my father’s and his alone.”

Sokka is completely still and quiet for long enough that Zuko begins to worry, until he whispers, “Forget the Avatar. I’m going to take out Ozai _myself_.”

Zuko laughs before he can stop himself. He keeps it quiet - he _really_ doesn’t the others awake right now - but he laughs nonetheless.

“I’m being serious!”

“I know.” _It’s adorable._ “My father will be expecting a fully realized Avatar and instead be met with your boomerang. He’ll never see it coming.”

That earns Zuko a quiet chuckle from Sokka. “He’ll dodge it and then be too busy taunting me to realize that a boomerang comes back.”

Zuko’s hand instinctively reaches to the back of his head where Sokka’s boomerang hit him the first time they met. It’s only been a few months, but it feels like _years_ since Zuko walked into the Southern Water Tribe village, demanding they hand over the Avatar. Zuko wishes the boomerang had knocked his brain around enough for him to recognize the error of his ways sooner. 

“Hey.” Sokka’s impossibly soft voice interrupts Zuko’s thoughts.

“Hey,” Zuko replies.

“Stop thinking.”

“But--”

“Not _‘but’_ s.” Sokka begins to move, and Zuko thinks he might be backing away until he feels Sokka _climbing_ _into his sleeping bag_. “Lay down.”

Zuko does as he’s told, mostly because he’s in too much shock to do anything else. He feels Sokka readjusting them as quietly as he can manage without Zuko’s help, but Zuko’s brain is too fuzzy to do anything besides let Sokka move him into what he mutters is _“prime cuddling position”_.

_Seriously, Zuko is surprised he hasn’t spontaneously combusted yet._

“Go to sleep,” Sokka murmurs. 

Despite the fact that Zuko’s body might as well be on fire with how Sokka is snuggled up to him, Zuko whispers, “Okay.” It’s easier to relax into Sokka than he had expected, and he finds the other boy’s proximity works wonders at chasing off the lingering scenes from Zuko’s nightmare. “Thank you,” he adds, though he’s wondering if Sokka might already be back asleep.

Sokka mumbles a response that Zuko can’t make out (though Zuko supposes it doesn’t really matter; he was only looking for an affirmation that Sokka heard him) and snuggles even closer to Zuko.

It’s not long before Zuko drifts off, and for once, his dreams don’t shift into nightmares.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on twitter @ H0LL0WKAIDAM


End file.
